Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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