Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
