oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
