we're blogging at a bar
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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