Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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