her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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