and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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