there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
