after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
