saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
