I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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