I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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