So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
