i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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