Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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