I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
