we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
