Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
