I don't think brook has ever known best
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
