She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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