Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
