Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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