I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
