where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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