Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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