So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
