Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
