U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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