I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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