FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
