Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just threw up on my dentist
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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