she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
