just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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