I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
