make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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