The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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