It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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