You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
