No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
