another moral hangover. fuck.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
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just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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