Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
