Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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