**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
