I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
