when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm both gender and math confused
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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