FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
