i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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