Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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