Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
