How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Come on in and take your pants off
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