i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
