Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
