i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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