i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
