you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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