Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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