We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
