My sheets look like a crime scene.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
