You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
