Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
