thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
