I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
ttyl tear gas
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
