seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
