All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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