I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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