whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
